No One is Self-Made: Your Circle of Support is the Missing Piece in Your Financial Plan

Back in the early 1990s, I was going through a divorce. I’d lost everything and was starting all over again. I had two little girls and I needed help. So the first person in what I like to call my “circle of support” was my mom. She’d help me watch the girls when I needed to work or help me take them to the doctor. She was critical to helping me get everything up and running with my businesses.  

Every time I put my circle of support together, I ask myself: “For me to be successful, who is always there helping me out? Who is the backbone for everything that I do?” 

Now, my circle of support also includes my wife Angie Barajas, my son, Eddie Romero, my brother-in-law Jerry Olivares, my staff, and so on and so forth. These are the people who help me reach my goals and make what I do—successfully writing books and running five different companies—possible. I call them my angels.  

When most people think about financial planning, they probably think about just the numbers—budgets, accounts, debt, and investments. They assume that if they can just get the math right, everything else will fall into place. 

But I’ve learned that most people struggle financially because they’re trying to do everything on their own. And no one ever told them they don’t have to. 

Real financial dignity is rarely a solo mission. One of the most important—and most overlooked—parts of building financial stability and dignity is understanding and leveraging your circle of support. Not just what you know, but who you have. 

In my financial coaching process, there’s a stage I call “locating available resources.” At first, it sounds technical. But in practice, it’s actually deeply personal. It’s about slowing down and helping someone become aware of everything they already have available to them to reach their goals.  

A lot of people talk about being “self-made” but in my experience, I’ve found that no one is actually self-made. There are always people around you helping you get to new levels.  

You Were Never Meant to Do This Alone 

In our community, we know this to be true: we are not meant to do things alone. We are largely from collectivist cultures where help one another and live in multigenerational households where we share resources.  

When I work with clients, one of the stages we go through is called “locating available resources.” On the surface, that sounds technical, but in practice, it’s just doing what we innately do in our community: being resourceful and relying on our people.  

“Never underestimate the transformative power a support system can have,” writes Melanie A. McNally, PsyD., in Psychology Today.  And I agree. It’s transformative to both your life and finances to have the right people in place to support you.  

When people skip building their circle of support, they tend to default to mindset that things are happening to them. And that makes sense. Especially in communities that have lived with struggle, discrimination, or scarcity, life can start to feel like something you’re constantly reacting to instead of shaping. But when you slow down and begin asking better questions, the story starts to change. What do I already have access to? Who has helped me before? Who could help me now? What am I carrying that I don’t actually need to carry by myself? 

My job as a coach and financial planner isn’t to give you all the answers but to help you see what’s already there and how those people and things can help you get to where you want to go.  

People, Places, and Things: That’s Your Circle 

Your circle of support isn’t just the people you talk to every day. It’s the people, places, and things that quietly help your life work. Sometimes those supports are obvious—like my mom helping me with the girls as I started over after my divorce. Other times, they’re hiding in plain sight.  

I once worked with a single mom whose biggest stress wasn’t her paycheck—it was her time. She was a high-paid lawyer and was losing hours sitting in pediatrician waiting rooms, missing work, and losing income. When she finally found a pediatrician who respected her time, that one change gave her breathing room. That pediatrician became part of her circle of support. 

For me, I’ll be honest—I can run companies and write books, but I open the hood of a car and I’m lost. So part of my circle of support are a mechanic and contractor I trust. I can call these guys to handle all the things I don’t have the time or skill to deal with, so I can focus on what I am good at. 

Over the years, I’ve seen people name babysitters, accountability partners, church communities, mentors, and friends who check in every single day. One woman shared that during her divorce, a friend called her every day because she was worried she might not survive it. Ten years later, she still calls and they talk almost daily. That’s support. Another person said their faith carried them through their darkest hours, on their knees when nothing else worked. That’s support too.  

Support doesn’t have to be fancy. It just has to be real. 

The “Who” Principle: This Changes Everything 

We’ve been taught to ask, “How do I do this?” But a powerful shift you can make is learning to ask: “Who can help me do this? Who’s already done it? Who knows the system? Who can make the introduction? Who can handle the part that drains me? Who can remind me who I am when I forget?” 

Sometimes progress isn’t about working harder or learning more. Sometimes it’s about recognizing that progress happens faster—and with less damage—when the right people are around you. I’ve had people come into my life during hard seasons who showed up exactly when I needed them. And like I said at the beginning of this article, I call them my little angels. 

When you start naming and reaching out to those people, you stop feeling behind and alone and like everything is resting on your shoulders. 

Your Circle Will Change—and That’s Okay 

When I was asking a recent group class I was teaching who was in their circle of support, one asked, “Past or present?” I was asking specifically for their present circle, but shared with them that their circles are seasonal—they’ll change as your life changes. It changes as your goals change. It changes as your needs change. And as sad as it is, it changes when people pass away.  

Some people tell me, “My parents are gone.” Others say, “My siblings live in different states.” Some say their support looks like group chats—different people for different moments. That’s normal. This exercise is really about identifying who supports you in the goals you’re working toward right now. 

Buying a home requires one kind of support. Starting a business requires another. Healing from financial trauma requires something different altogether. Different seasons will require different circles.  

Build Your Circle—On Purpose 

Here’s a simple exercise I want you to try. Draw a circle and put your name in the middle, then draw three circles on top of it. Then write down three people you can count on right now in the surrounding circles. Then add three more circles below and in them add tools or resources that can help you get to your goals.  

Then go deeper. Who do you talk to once every year or two—but if you called today, they’d pick up? I have people like that in my life. I may not see them often, but when I need them, they’re there. 

As you write this out, pay attention to what happens inside you. When people do this exercise, their energy changes. They realize how supported they actually are. And they stop believing the lie that they’re on their own. 

The Truth I Want You to Remember 

If you’re trying to build wealth, get out of debt, start over, or change your financial story, hear me clearly: you don’t need a stronger hustle. You need a stronger circle. 

The who makes the how possible. And when you stop carrying everything by yourself, you don’t just build a better financial plan—you build a better life. One rooted in dignity. One grounded in community. One led with corazón.